Raising Young Athletes by Jim Taylor

Author:Jim Taylor [Taylor;Ph.D., Jim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2018-06-21T16:00:00+00:00

Finally, you can ask your children about their needs directly related to their sports participation. Particularly as your young athletes get older and become more experienced in their sport, they will have a clear idea about why they participate and what they get out of it.

Recognize Your Own Needs

Another key part of the needs equation involves recognizing your own needs in your children’s athletic lives and understanding how your needs are shaping your involvement in their sports participation. What makes this process difficult is that, as human beings, we are often driven by needs of which we have little awareness, much less control. These needs may be grounded in experiences and perceptions that arose when we were children ourselves and have been reinforced for many years. For example, a father pushes his teenaged baseball player because he never lived up to his own father’s expectations when he was a young player. Or, a mother becomes overly invested in her daughter’s gymnastics career because her athletic success will bolster her mother’s self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. Your ability to acknowledge your needs and understand how those needs may be helping or hurting your young athletes’ efforts is one of the most important things you can do to be a positive force in their sports lives.

This process of self-realization begins by “looking in the mirror” and examining what drives your involvement in your children’s athletic lives. Through self-reflection or with the help of a psychotherapist, life coach, your spouse, a friend, or some other means, you can look at your needs related to your children’s sports experiences that may be influencing the messages you’re sending them.

A useful way to help identify any unhealthy needs that are at work is to recognize those moments when you have emotional reactions to a sports situation your children are in that seem extreme or inappropriate, for instance, anger, devastation, or hurt when they lose a competition. Ask yourself: What is the source of those emotions? What parts of you are reacting to this athletic situation in which your children are involved? What needs are driving you in your children’s athletic lives?

Children shouldn’t have to sacrifice so that you can have the life you want. You make sacrifices so your children can have the life that they deserve.—Anonymous3

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